This post needs a disclaimer. It may come off as rather emo, but it's not intended to. I'm just... confused. This is purely logical.

For the most part, I think I'm a fairly well-adjusted person. I am perfectly fine with being on my own... by myself.

I'm used to it, for one thing.

But last night my coworkers were discussing their love lives. Specifically, one girl's. I pressed her for details about the origins of her mysterious new boyfriend, and I was very disappointed to not hear anything spectacular. She hadn't wowed him with anything in particular-- he just asked her out one day.

How does that happen???

I don't really throw this information around, so kudos to you who read this-- you're on the DL (lol). This stays close to the vest mostly because it's royally embarassing.

An older coworker expressed her pride and excitement in the other girl since she's about twenty, and it's really about time she had someone that serious. I just laughed. "We need to never discuss my life, then."

Apparently you can't be cryptic at the Snak Shak, so she prodded me on. She was kind of startled to learn that I've never been asked out in my entire life. Never. Not once.

I'm pretty sure she was just acting surprised, though. Obviously every male on the planet has noticed whatever this massive flaw I have is, so she must have.

Needless to say, our conversation disturbed me, and it got me thinking. What is wrong with me? And it can't really be said that nothing is, no matter how well-intentioned you are. Obviously something is off.

I can be annoying (can't everyone?), but I know several people I would consider more annoying than myself who are either dating or married.

I'm not exactly a pixie, but I'm not morbidly obese.

I'm not Tyra Banks, but I don't think I'm repulsive... maybe I am.

I'm extremely hygeinic, so unless I naturally smell awful, that's not it.

I'm not exactly stylish, but I don't dress like a hobo.

I currently have the best haircut I've ever had, although, admittedly, it needs trimmed.

I've gotten over a lot of my previous shyness in the last year or two, so I'm not a total introvert.

I enjoy geeky things, but I can't say I'm a D&D fan.

I enjoy a good Jane Austen book, but I'm not a super-girly girl.

I'm not a lesbian, and the only people who have ever accused me of that were female, so I must not give off that vibe.

I don't paint on layers of makeup, but I'm not butch.

I can be ditsy and/or confused, but I'm not exactly dumb.

I'm probably not the nicest person in the world, but I'm definitely not mean.

I'm not a neat-freak, but I'm not a total slob.

I can bake. I can cook. I can play a number of musical instruments. I would have been considered "well accomplished" back in the day.

I miss my friends when they're gone, but I'm not clingy.

I can't say I'm real big on crowds of people I've never met, but I'm not agoraphobic.

I use big words like "agoraphobic," but I'm not trying to seem like I'm smarter than other people.

I have chronic nightmares, but I'm otherwise completely mentally healthy.

I have allergies, but I'm otherwise mostly physically healthy.

I'm mildly eccentric, but I'm not an arty cat lady.

I have my emo moments, but I'm generally rather happy.

I just don't get it. And I would really like to, because if I could find out what the problem was, I would probably fix it. It's not exactly that it bothers  me.... I mean, I'm not walking around going "I need a boyyyyfriend... I'm sooo alonnnee..." but I wouldn't exactly mind, and the thought that it's never been an option (and nothing seems to be about to change any time soon) is kind of disturbing.

I just... I wanna know, you know?

What's so wrong with ME?

Sooooo...

Today has been nothing but me finding new things to squee over.

Mainly, well... we'll get to that in a minute.

Firstly, the Osmonds were on Oprah today. Yes, it was a rerun, but I haven't seen Oprah in months so it was new to me.

ZOMG.

I haven't turned off "One Bad Apple" since. It's on repeat on YouTube right now, and soon I'll have it on CD. I sincerely feel sorry for Adam if he rides back to school with me on Sunday.

But back to the big thing.

I understand I'm rather slow on the uptake, but apparently there's this fantabulous series by one Stephenie Meyer about this chick named Bella and this guy... Edward Cullen. Holy Mother Mary Rebekah. I haven't drooled over an imaginary guy like this since Michael Guinness, and I made him up!

(That makes me miss him... I need to write him something new for him to do. Last time I worked on that, he and Heather were in England, about to deal with his nasty (but attractive) cousin Fabian. Hmm...)

Well Kayla knows what I'm talking about, anyway.

Anyway, Edward Cullen is verrry impressive. And now I hear they've got Cedric Diggory playing him in the upcoming movie version.

Come on!!!

If we're gonna get a quidditch player, at LEAST give us Oliver Wood!

But seriously (and you may never hear me say this again), Edward Cullen should be American. He is American, and he should be. He's more attractive that way. I didn't know that was possible, but I'm developing an appreciation for the American Male. I must be getting old.

I'm gonna go see what Michael's up to.... and if I'm feeling industrious, I'll whip out my As You Like It script... yeahhhhh I should really do that. -_-